I was talking to one of my confidants yesterday about sharing my vision and goals with others. She brought to my attention a very valuable lesson that everyone is bound to learn at one point in their life:
Everybody is not meant to be on your team, even when you are on theirs.
I had an associate that I shared my excitement about starting my blog. I thought that since they already had their own website and was pretty established that they could understand my excitement and be a great soundboard for me. It didn't take long for me to see that even with the minor details that I told to them, they were not the support that I was looking for. All they talked about was how they was doing X, Y, & Z with their business and completely neglecting what I just talked about. It seemed like a brag fest for them as I just watched on the sidelines being the cheerleader as usual. Don't get me wrong, I am in full support of it but I was just thinking that the conversation could be about me for a hot second. Was I wrong to assume it would actually go that way?
When you come across these type of people (self-absorbed star, the pessimist, or the envious, jealous type) don't take it personal. Your vision is for you and it's not meant for everybody to know about it. Soon enough they will SEE it. Really that's with most people. They won't be excited for you or even in support of you. They will give you 100 reasons why it will not work or treat it as if you didn't mention a thing. Those will be the same people that will be running to you asking for help, advice, money (yes- because we all know that they stay hiding in the forest of 'Nowhere'). Don't act like them and shun them. Don't cast them off to the side. Don't be a fool either. Deal with them respectfully and accordingly (even when your ego wants you to do otherwise- it's not worth it).
You will find people who will become your support system. Some of them will probably be unexpected and others you will meet as you go through the process. I am finding mine as we speak. Most of the times I won't even mention my blog to people I talk to often because of their reaction when I first mentioned it. Sometimes you an just tell right off of the back. I am grateful for the few I have in my corner, texting me randomly making sure I've done certain things, cheering me on about following through with my dream, and praying for me on a consistent basis. It is because of them I can shrug off the Other team.
What experiences have you had with the other team? Comment below!
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This is such a timely message that you're sharing with others, especially new bloggers. I've learned in the past that we cannot assume that others who we have helped/motivated along the way will be there to help/motivate us. To do so would only push us further away from our dreams. As a new blogger myself, I'd love to share my blog with you and others. I'm all about lifting others up through words of encouragement and showing as much support as I can. I feel that we're all on this Earth for a reason - life is too short to live without trying to follow our dreams and help others along the way with theirs. Best wishes to you on a successful new blog! www.shandaunscripted.com
ReplyDeleteHi Shanda!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you. I am all about helping when I can however, I've learned that everyone is not ready to be a part of your greatness. Sometimes they have to just sit at the sideline (some of them will be in the bleachers) to watch. I will be checking out your blog! Thank you so much for visiting mine and for sharing.
AWESOME POST!!! remember GOD didn't give everyone the sight to see/appreciate ur vision! stay encouraged and focused... blessed is the one who finds joy in both living and sharing their passion! ;)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! I will stay focused. I will be deaf with eagle vision!
DeleteMy experience has been hmmm pretty much exactly what you said, I think people literally felt like I had dropped brain cells when I told them I liked to blog. To be honest with my actual friends and family don't care and aren't supportive, you would think I was selling myself online with the way the are so unbothered or unsupportive about it. My support system are the people I've met online and mostly myself in the real world its different but online its just been terribly weird. I love writing and I don't care at this anymore am happy just doing the things that make me happy and thats absolutely positively marvellous I might add. lol I didn't want to come across too serious.
ReplyDeleteI have family members who don't even know that I blog. I don't bother to tell most people because I'd rather them see and wonder why I didn't say something. Sometimes you have to keep things to yourself no matter how bad you want to share. You have to find that confidant that you can trust and sometimes that will be someone you met on social media. It sucks but it's true
DeleteThank you for sharing this!
ReplyDeleteI haven't dared to share my enthusiasm for blogging because everytime i try, people who dont understand start putting me down and i get a little discouraged.
This post is such an uplifting one. Blogging is suppose to be a community where people support each other and cheer each other on, i'm so glad i saw the Tweet on your blog post from FemalebloggersRT.
X, Carina
Running White Horses
Hi Carina! Don't get discouraged. People are fearful of what they don't understand. Your community of peers understand and are always there to help.
DeleteAmazing post. My family and friends are indifferent to me blogging except Gorgeousness which im totally in awe of. He encouraged me to start a blog, indulges me in everything, blog and otherwise.
ReplyDeleteThe Other team.....hilarious but so apt. Haters i see as a tacky word...ghetto almost...not that i know anything about ghetto slangs(does driving past ajegunle count?) haha. But i do agree. So i found you thru lifetalkslisten blog and totally admire your blog.
Check my recent post for a tag with your name.
Thank you for visiting the blog. Sometimes you are better off showing people then telling people. I have family who just brush off what I do. I've learned that it's their business- not mine.
DeleteHi!
ReplyDeleteI happened on your blog through @ediyemade (Phoenix? J Ausserehl?).
I completely know what you mean. She was my very first comment on my new blog (I just established in in June). A lot of people use the excuse that it is in German to not support me but in reality Instagram is universal. Pictures don't require literacy or fluency in any language.
Nevertheless, I completely understand about naysayers or people who just disregard your dream. I'm glad that you decided to follow your dream of starting a blog. There's too many people on this earth. There is room for everyone in every industry.
I look forward to seeing the other posts
Xoxo,
La Deutsche Diva
People do know that Google translates websites (including blogs) into different languages, right? They can't use that excuse! I would love to see your blog. I will be looking for you on Instagram!
DeleteThank you for the comment!